Hole
Hole is the first episode of the third series of the sitcom Bottom, it first aired on January 6th 1995 Plot The episode starts with Eddie and Richie at the fair on the tallest Ferries wheel in Western Europe in which it is their last ride for the night. The two start talking about the days events, Richie says they are up to their three quid limit which the Ferries wheel cost three quid, Eddie comments how he would like another go at the throwing the darts at the cards game but Richie explains it was closed after the proprietor was taken to the eye hospital as a result of Eddie's first go. They then talk about how the Waltzers has closed in which Eddie says I had no idea i had eaten so much an elderly woman was covered in vomit and Richie comments You were like a sprinkler as you went round and comments how she looked like a creature from a swamp. Eddie then starts talking about the Ghost train in which he soiled himself as it was far too terrifying for him, he comments he was lucky the bloke who sat next to him passed put otherwise he wouldn't have managed to get his trousers off, Richie asks how his new trousers fit him, Eddie stands up to reveal a floral skirt which Richie says they have a skirty feel to them but Eddie insists the bloke may have been Scottish. The Ferris wheel then starts moving and the two start screaming with joy, but it stops at the top and annoys Richie until Eddie says they are just letting more people on, Richie then believes its the two birds that were following them around all night. Richie claims that his girl is very good-looking and that Eddie's girl isn’t as good-looking: has a beard, smokes a pipe and doesn’t have as many legs. Eddie knows who Richie is referring to, they are both Keith and Deirdre from the local Pub's mixed couple nudie mud wrestling team.Richie says Keith is Eddie's girl and Deirdre is Richie's, he goes onto ask if they are a couple to which Richie questions Why do you think she was giving me the eye all night, not the glass one the other one and Eddie explains to Richie that Deirdre is blind, Eddie then explains Keith has been following Eddie around because he owns Keith £50 from seventeen years ago which Keith has been chasing him for the seventeen years he has owed it to him. Eddie then starts questioning Richie when he will buy another shirt prior to Richie saying she sensed my musky sort of smell to which Eddie responded with they had been sensing his musky smell for 40 years. Richie informs him the shirt he has is the original Van de Heusen, leading to a sarcastic remark from Richie who tells Eddie if he had the decency to get himself a proper shop as opposed to hanging round the flat all day like a vast slug Richie would be able to take his top off without the risk of Eddie seeing Richie's nipples. The lights on the Ferries wheel go off to which Richie believes it to be a love Ferris wheel but only now notices they are both the only ones on it and they are not letting anyone else on and points out they are closing up for the night, Richie calls down to the stall holders and the people below and quotes how they aren't using all their fingers and Richie tells Eddie he cannot understand what they are saying but Eddie points out they are just swearing indiscriminately and running towards the gate, Richie attracts their attention and starts talking about how he used to live in Bromley Eddie tells Richie to duck to which he responds with where? and a brick at Richie and the rest of the crowd start hurtling all kinds of objects at them, Richie questions what they did and Eddie tells him he had touched up the Birley Ferris wheel attendant to which Richie thought she was a girl (implying it was a bloke dressed as a woman) Eddie soon notices how the fair is closing down enraging Richie and tells them they cannot be treated like this and tells Eddie his mother used to make sandwiches for the Hammersmith Conservative Association. They decide to write a police enquiry but doesn't know the time but Eddie takes out a watch and tries to read the time but Richie notices he has brought along his (Richie's) special gold watch which is the family heirloom that Grandpa Willis had found on a body in the somme, Eddie says he had brought it along for him incase he wanted to know the time but the watch reads 3:30 which isn't right and Richie notices how it is light and its here Eddie reveals he had taken out the innards out because it was so heavy it made a little dint in Richie's waist coat pocket and reveals he sold them to the antique clock place. Eddie tells them it is Midnight due to the fact the fair closes at Midnight and the fair is closed, Richie goes into panic as they are trapped 350 feet on a Ferris wheel though Eddie (who reads the paper and drinks a pint from a glass) doesn't seem as shocked and in horror as Richie, Richie suggests to Eddie he takes off his clothes to knot them together but Eddie is confused so instead decides he will go off to get help but before doing so he asks if he falls and plunges 350 to the ground and splatters to the ground he asks Eddie if he will scatter his ashes on Queens Park Rangers Football ground wo which Eddie responds with no wo which Richie replies with thanks, in the end Richie fails to attempt to get help and insists Eddie should go who at first refuses until Richie comments how his pint glass is empty and Eddie says he'll nip off to the bar but not before borrowing money of Richie to get both him and Richie something, Eddie climbs and runs on top of the Ferris wheel but comes back wondering if they do a delivery service. Eddie suggests they could use Richie's trousers as an illuminous parachute but Richie says its no good due to him wearing his PE knickers on from school (which it has been 25 years ago when he left), Richie confirms his sister lives around the area and hopes she will here them, they now have to think of something else but Richie goes insane and Eddie slaps Richie a few times followed by another slap to make sure. Richie then decides he is going to change the way he lives if they pull through to the other side of this one, he says he will find a beautiful woman, maybe raise some kids and move back to Blighty and find a piece of land, Eddie doesn't think they will pull through and after Richie explains he has to hold onto the dream Eddie asks why they are talking such complete and utter bollocks, he becomes annoyed with Richie and so he kicks him his crotch, punches him in his stomach and then kicks him in his stomach repeatedly. Richie becomes bored but realizes they have only been their about 7 minutes, Eddie shows Richie an article in the newspaper about the Ferris wheel with an article entitled Illegal Deathtrap Wheel To Close Tonight and confirms because it is too expensive to dismantle and is due to be blown up first thing the very next morning much to the pairs sheer panic, Richie shouts for help but Eddie tells him they should wait for a plane to come along and attract its attention, he says one is coming but it turns out to be Eddie breaking wind instead, a helicopter comes by but despite their desperate waving they don't notice them, Richie comments how if they had something to illuminate them such as flares. Eddie has alcohol on him which he suggests they both drink themselves to death but Richie takes it off Eddie, he asks whats in it and Eddie confirms it has Brandy, Meths, Purnod, paintstripper, Mr Sheen, brakefluid and Drambuie. After questioning Eddie how he is still alive to which he responds I may very well not be Richie hatches a plan that when the next Chopper comes by they will set fire to it and throw it in the air so that when it bursts it illuminates them both. Eddie tries to give a note of caution but a chopper then comes along and so Richie lights it and throws it in the air but instead of bursting it comes back down to them and sets fire to the Ferries wheel carriage, They start waving but they still aren't noticed and they now have to deal with putting out the fire, Richie tells Eddie to put it out with his coat but it has £50 worth of miniature sewn into the lining so instead he is forced to put out the fire with his emergency pint of bitter which he tells Richie I will never ever forget you for this Richie then thanks him and stomps around heroically as if he'd been the one who was brave and smashes through the bottom of the carriage and Eddie rescues him by pulling him up to safety. Richie then says if he hadn't been so crazily heroic it wouldn't have happened but Eddie tells him he is just over weight, Richie is furious and tells him to not call him overweight but just as he sits back down the Ferris wheel carriage tips over and is now left hanging, knowing its the end the two start talking about how the Buddhists believe on reincarnation, Eddie wants to come back as a bra and then suggests he wants to come back as Claudia Schiffer so when it rained he could run outside and get completely soaked and would run back inside and say ooh look your all wet you better strip off slowly in front of a mirror. Richie suggests he'll come back as Dannii Minogue and get a job in a bar and Eddie suggests afterwards he wants to come back as a Giraffe in order to look over the trees for birds taking topless helicopter lessons. Things are now looking bleak for the pair so they start praying to God for help and scream at the top of their voices and by complete miracle God appears holding out his hand for the two to climb onto for safety but Eddie then tells Richie Although we and indeed the whole BBC respect peoples rights to believe in whatever they wish, because we don't want to get into the shit on this one, we don't actually believe in God do we? Richie agrees and the giant hand suddenly disappears and the two are sent falling to their doom 350 feet up in the air and the episode ends Cast Ade Edmonson Rik Mayall Notes This is the third and final episode that is set out of the flat This is also the third and final episode in which only Richie and Eddie appear This is the second time Richie and Eddie go to a fair, the first time was in the series 1 episode Apocalypse (possible the same fair as this one) although in that episode they were both seen going round the fair where as in this episode they are only seen on top of the Ferris wheel This is the first and only time in which Eddie doesn't wear his trousers that he normally wears This episode marks the only episode in which God appears though only his giant hand is seen This is the second time Eddie damages someones eye at a fair stand it previously happened in the series 1 episode Apocalypse where he shot the shooting gallery stall holder in the eye, in this mishap its the proprietor of the Throwing the darts at the cards game stall which Eddie refers to as the Throwing the darts at the cards thingy In this episode its revealed Eddie keeps an emergency pint of bitter in his coat A couple of things about Eddie and Richie's fashion sense are learned of in this episode, Richie has only ever worn the original Ven de Heussen that hasn't been washed since 1963 and that Eddie's coat has £50 worth of miniatures sewn into the lining The Owl sound effects used in this episode was previously used in the series 2 episode S'out Its revealed in this episode Richie has a sister who lives in the area where the fairground is Its implied Richie once lived in both Bromley and Blighty This is the only time in the show in which the sounds of a helicopter can be heard Eddie broke the fourth wall in this episode when he turns directly to the camera and say Because we don't want to get into the shit on this one Its revealed Richie's mother used to make sandwiches for the Hammersmith Conservatives Association The tallest Ferris wheel in west end Europe in the episode might have been based on the London Eye which in reality is the biggest in Britain and in the show the fair is located somewhere near or in Hammersmith which is in Britain Its revealed Richie has a gold watch which is the heirloom of the family Eddie might have a licence to drive a motorbike because he says at one point Have you seen my new Motorbike The supermodels Dannii Minogue and Claudia Schiffer are both mentioned when Eddie and Richie are talking about reincarnation and they both say they want to come back as them The BBC gets a mention in this episode when Eddie says the whole of the BBC respect peoples rights to believe in whatever they wish, this could also be an intentional fourth wall break as the sitcom was produced by and aired on the BBC In the outtakes on the Region 2 DVD, you can hear the full explicit dialogue that was bleeped by Eddie in the actual episode regarding their use of swearing. You can also hear this on the Audio version of this episode. In the view in the background you can see all the buildings, this is the only time anything like this is ever seen in an episode of Bottom Errors In the stage shows its implied that Eddie can't write or write, in this episode Eddie is seen reading The Hammersmith Bugle newspaper When Richie is telling Eddie how they are stuck 350 feet in the air Eddie is in the background reading the newspaper with both his hands on it, in the next shot he has a pint glass in his hand that he lifts up from nowhere, it isn't his emergency bitter because that isn't seen til later when he uses it to put out the fire Eddie confirms to Richie that the winner of the Stork Margarine competition held by The Hammersmith Bugle newspaper is Slip Digby but in the live stage show The Big Number Two Tour it was said that Richie and Eddie where the only ones to have ever read the paper After Richie points out the fair is closing up for the night Eddie claims that the Wurlitzer organ music reminded him of his dad's funeral but it was previously said he had no idea who his father was When the Ferris wheel carriage tips up a dummy of Richie is clearly visible because he doesn't move until the next shot Eddie is slapping Richie to calm him down, when he stops slapping him the sounds of the slapping can still be heard for a second After Richie says the line Come on Eddie we're going to have to think of something else Eddie throws his plastic pint glass off the side of the Ferris wheel carriage and you can hear the sound of it hitting the floor but they are supposed to be 350 feet up in the air, also when the carriage tips when listened carefully you can also hear the sound of the other pint glass hitting the floor When the hand of God appears you can see the shadow possibly of that of the cameraman and the camera After Eddie says the line Nice one whilst standing on the hand of God the Ferris wheel carriage falls and the sound of it hitting the floor can be heard but they are supposed to be 350 feet in the air, the same error occurs with Eddie throwing his plastic pint glass off the side as mentioned above